A fun song from a long time ago. There’s just something about scrambled eggs that set you right up–and I love to slip in puns when I can. I wrote it when I was painting my sister’s house in a Chicago suburb one summer. This one’s always fun to play and is usually good for a laugh from the audience–I used to get lots of requests to sing this song.

Again, the electric guitar tracks were done with Dennis’ Rickenbacker. Hearing the guitar solo makes me laugh, because I remember recording it early on a Sunday morning in my pajamas while everyone was sleeping. Aahh, the joys of a home studio… For a long time I wondered whether I could pull this one off by myself, because it’s got kind of an odd rhythm and because I really liked the first recorded version of the song–which was done in a Seattle basement on May 18, 1980 while Mount St. Helens was erupting. But I like the way this version turned out.

Went to get some breakfast at the local greasy spoon
Where the silverware is aluminum and the jukebox plays the tunes
Waitress took my order–she must have weighed a ton
She stuck a pen behind her ear and said “How ya want ‘em done?”

And I said scrambled, scrambled
Crisp bacon on the side
I really need some scrambled eggs ’cause last night I got fried

They cooked ‘em up short order style and served ‘em steaming hot
I had asked for whole wheat, though–they said “White is all we got”
I ate those eggs and stretched my legs and found the door marked Men
I ran into a high-school buddy and he said “Hey, how ya been?”

And I said scrambled, scrambled
Last night was way too much

But I just had some scrambled eggs and now I’m back in touch

Don’t want poached or boiled or fried–I’m not like other folks
I just hope you like this song and laugh at all my yolks

Sometimes I get serious and sometimes I get mean
Sometimes I have a dirty mind and sometimes I get clean
The twentieth century is over now and I ain’t changed my mind
No runs, no hits and lots of errors, I’m leavin’ it behind

Cause everything’s scrambled, scrambled
Mixed up just like a stew

Well I’m just tryin’ to have some laughs, there ain’t much else to do

Scrambled, scrambled
Not red or green or blue
Scrambled’s how I feel today and I will tomorrow, too